Author: Miro

Computers, smartphones, tablets, TV; technology abounds in today’s world, and kids are using it more than ever.

While yes, using technology certainly provides many benefits for kids (and it gives them entertained while you’re doing what you need to do;) however, too much screen time can be detrimental to their physical and mental health.

Instead of caving in and letting your kids watch TV or play on their tablets, here are some creative screen-free activities that are fun, entertaining and will give your kids the physical activity they need.

Have a Bike Race

Riding bikes is a fun activity for kids all on its own; but, if your kids are craving a bit more action, give them a challenge to complete by setting up a bike race.

Set up a course on your street (if it’s safe,) in a park or somewhere where there isn’t a lot of traffic. You can use cones to outline the course and you can even set up a starting line and a finish line with some tape. On your mark, let your kids ride their bikes and race to the finish line.

Go on a Nature Walk

Spend some quality time outdoors with your kids and teach them about the wonders of the natural world while taking a nature walk.

Before or after dinner, or any other time of the day, take your kids for a walk outside. Take a walk in different locations, if possible; but, even if you can only walk around your neighborhood, there are plenty of ways that you can explore nature together. Examine birds and flowers, talk about the changing leaves, gather nature items (pinecones, acorns, sticks, etc) and create a craft with them when you get back home.

Plant a Garden

• Physical activity? Check.
• Getting outside? Check.
• Learning responsibility? Check.
• Seeing how their efforts make a difference? Check.

Planting a garden is an excellent activity for your kids to partake in! Choose a spot in your yard, give your little ones some kid-friendly gardening tools, seeds and watering cans and let them work the land and plant a garden. They can even create some colorful signs and stepping stones for their garden! They’ll have a blast and they’ll get a real thrill when they reap what they sow.

Create An Obstacle Course

Kids love jumping and climbing, which is why an obstacle course is something they will really enjoy.

Use couch cushions, pillows, toys, tables and anything else you can think of to create an obstacle course for your kids. Let them climb, jump, crawl and wriggle on their bellies to complete the course. They’ll have tons of fun, plenty of giggles and get in some good quality physical activity.

Hula Hoop!

Get some hula hoops and let your kids explore using them. Show them how to move their hips to keep them up and see who can keep their hoop up the longest. Set them out on the floor and jump from hoop to hoop. Use them as a fun alternative to a jump rope. There are so many fun ways you can play with hula hoops and keep your kids active!

Present your kids with these activities and they’ll definitely spend less time on the couch and more time being active.

This post is written by Amy Williams. Amy
is a free-lance journalist based in Southern California and mother of two. As a parent, she enjoys spreading the word on positive parenting techniques in the digital age and raising awareness on issues like cyberbullying and online safety.

Kassandra Brown is a coach based in Boulder, CO.

For my birthday, wanted to keep it simple, celebrate with my family, and give thanks for the abundant support I receive in so many areas.   I went to a “pick your own” working farm and kid-exploring paradise.

It was a lovely day spent with my daughters and my dad. We went to Miller Farms and took a hayride around 180 acres of pick your own vegetables. I like getting my hands dirty, getting lots of good produce, and helping my daughters know where their food really comes from.

Lately, there has been chatter regarding our youth’s preoccupation with devices and how they are living a distracted life. Parents read stories about cyberbullying, Internet addiction, Smartphone obsessions, sexting, and the oversharing of personal information. Parents will eventually find themselves questioning a teen’s right to privacy in our hyper connected society.

However, we need to take a step back and consider our own relationship with devices. It is always easier to control our own behavior rather than correct a child’s. Ultimately, we want to carefully consider the message we are sending our children and teens.

8 Ways to Protect Your Kids from the Techno Trap

Here are 8 steps to approach technology that convey a positive relationship with our devices to our children:

Unplug during family time. It is important to power down during family meals, activities, and conversations. Give teens and children your whole attention and send the message that they are more valuable than a text message.

Avoid using your Smartphone while driving. We all know how dangerous it is to text or surf messages while behind the wheel. If you don’t follow your own advice, you can’t expect a child too.

Put down your phone and be active. Take a walk, pick up gardening, hobby or activity that doesn’t require battery life or data.

Limit the amount of time you are online. Display a healthy relationship with technology by shutting it down. Try to set aside time each day to relax or work without the soft glow of a screen.

Start open conversations about technology and Social Media issues. Ask questions and listen to your teen. If they notice you are not hiding concerns they might be willing to voice their opinions freely.

Avoid Social Media blowups. We all have “those” friends who have no filter and post anything they want. Often, a verbal fighting match erupts over taboo topics like politics, religion, homeschooling, and anti-vaccines. Lead by example and refrain from these types of posts.

Don’t expect your teen to avoid game apps, trendy apps, or online shopping if you frequent the sites. Lead by example and do as you say. Actions always speak louder than words.

Discuss and model Social Media etiquette. Be careful what you post online and make sure it’s always positive. Avoid racy or derogative comments. Above all, be mindful that your teen might see anything you post!

Amy Williams

The full content of Amy’s article is available here

Fall feels like it’s fully arrived inside me as well as outside my window.

Autumn is a time of harvesting the fruits of the previous season, getting ready for winter and the dark season, and letting go of things that are ready to die.

Fall leaves are a great reminder of the cycles of the seasons. The leaves that were green just a month ago have turned brown, yellow and red. They are falling off the trees in droves. They remind me that just because it’s time to let go of something now doesn’t mean that it was useless or I never should have had it in the first place.

The dance of letting in and letting go continues constantly throughout life. Sometimes the cycle is as short as a breath – breathing in and breathing out. Sometimes the cycle is as long as an entire life – birth into this human body and death to leave it. In between the two are countless cycles within cycles as we learn to dance with intimacy. Do we keep someone – our children, spouse, partner, parent, lover, or friend – from touching us deeply? Do we keep love at arm’s length for fear of losing it? Or do we let them in? Do we open our hearts to the most vulnerable experiences of joy and love knowing that these, like everything in our cyclical lives, will pass?

Taking our cues from the trees, we can find comfort in the repetition of the cycles. We must let go of the old to allow it to compost and create space for new growth.

This is true in parenting as we let go of the ways of connecting that worked with our child in the previous season. As our children grow they let go of breastfeeding to make room for more independence. Comforting with a lap and snuggles without warm milk and suckling is a transition, a letting go. My younger daughter still wants a hug and a kiss before I leave her at our homeschool coop. My older daughter doesn’t want to be seen touching me by her friends. Where she used to want me with her constantly, she now says “See ya” from 5 feet away and turns around to talk to other kids.

Relationships grow and evolve, closeness ebbs and flows.

Our relationships to our children, ourselves, work, our homes, partners and friends all change over time. When we insist that they stay constant, we set ourselves and others up for disappointment and suffering. One of the challenges of being a parent is to both set good boundaries and allow our children the freedom to grow and evolve. Mindfulness, reflection, quiet time, parts work, and “being with what is” are all great tools to allow the cycles of nature to teach and hold us, in times of closeness and in times of separation.

Kassandra Brown is a coach based in Boulder, CO.

Like all mothers, I want to feed my children well. I’ve spent many hours in the kitchen and many more hours in my head trying to figure out the right diet. We’ve tried many things – no dairy, no wheat, vegetarian, raw, GAPS diet, making our own cheese and butter, making our own fermented veggies, making kombucha and water kefir for probiotics – the list goes on.

Food is a big deal for most parents. So to make life a bit easier and let you know you’re not alone, I’m going to post recipes and tips from time to time. If you like these posts, let me know and I’ll do it more often.

By special request from my friend Bobbie, here is a recipe for no bake granola bars.  I like them without the chocolate, but my kids favorite part (surprise!) is the chocolate chips.

Everything tastes better and is better for the environment when it is local and organic. Organic food is often grown with more care and fewer pesticides and chemical fertilizers making it better for the land, the farmers who grow it, and you. Plus it really does taste better most of the time – so go for it when you can.

• 4 cups rolled oats (quick are my favorite but any thickness will do)
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 1/2 cup virgin coconut oil
• 1/2 – 1 cup sorghum, maple syrup, or honey
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (optional)
• 1/2 cup sunflower seeds
• 1/2 cup sesame seeds
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips
• 2 Tbsp cinnamon
• 2 Tbsp vanilla extract
• 1-3 tsp salt

You can just throw everything in a big bowl, mix as long as you can with a spoon and then use your hands. We do it that way often.

Slightly easier is to mix the peanut butter, sorghum, and coconut oil (it becomes a liquid at about 80 degrees F). Mix all the dry ingredients together and then pour the liquid into the dry ingredients.

Vary the recipe to your taste, pat the mix into a 9×13 pan and refrigerate. They will harden into bars that keep nearly indefinitely at cooler temperatures.

Enjoy!

Use the chart below and the tips which follow to figure out if you really need to buy something new or if you could do just as well (and maybe even better) by saving your pennies. Connection doesn’t have to be expensive.

Play More and Spend Less with these practical, simple tips.

Does talking with your spouse or kids leave you feeling drained or overwhelmed? Do you want to retreat, eat chocolate cake, or go for a long solo bike ride after spending time with them? Do you notice that you don’t even want to go home sometimes?

While this may happen to all of us sometimes, if it happens often you may be taking their upset or challenges  too personally. While it’s nearly impossible to be completely unruffled by someone you live so closely with, you can take steps to make it easier to both listen deeply and keep your own sanity.

Step 1: Mindfulness

Notice what you are feeling. Ask if this is your emotion. Are you taking on someone else’s work, emotion, or baggage?

Step 2: Discernment

Closely linked with mindfulness is noticing you have choices. What do you want to do right now? Many of us often try to help by absorbing and trying to fix or heal someone’s else’s upset. Rarely does this actually help and tends to disempower all involved. Very often the kindest thing you can do is sit with someone while they feel their feelings with no need to change, fix, figure out, or take them personally. If you think there’s even a possibility that that’s true, try the following exercises and see if they work better than absorbing or fixing someone else’s upset.

Step 3: Practices to Keep Your Ground

Exercise 1 – Energetic Shield: Stand up and feel your feet on the ground. Run your hands in front of you. Imagine you are putting an energetic shield in place. This shield protects you from absorbing or getting exhausted by the person you are listening to. It can let in anything that you need to feel and hear. It can keep out and deflect back to your partner anything that is theirs and that they need for their healing.

The energetic shield is very useful when your spouse, co-workers, or children are expressing their upset. Take a deep breath and move your hands in front of your face, heart, belly, and as far down your legs as you can reach. After some practice, you can do a smaller motion that doesn’t seem as obvious. You can also use it when you’re in an environment that seems negative and out of your control (i.e. doctor’s office with TV playing or your in-laws house when they start to bicker).

With someone you know, you can actively put your shield up with them. Let them know you’re putting your shield up. Pause the conversation and do the motions. This may actually help them feel safer to talk to you because they know they won’t be dealing with the fallout of your overwhelm after you listen to them.

Exercise 2 – Compassionate Presence: Imagine you are pure compassion and empathy. You have no need to change, fix or figure out the person who’s talking to you. You trust they are the experts on their own life. You trust them to figure out their own path and that the kindest and most loving thing you can do it listen to them with complete trust and love.

You may also notice that parts of you get stimulated by their pain. This is what makes it hard to offer compassion to your intimates. Your lives are so intertwined that their pain triggers your own. Hold the pain within you with compassion as well. What if it was OK to just notice it without need to fix, figure out or change? What if you could also ask for compassionate listening time with your partner, a friend, or parent coach?

Exercise 3 – Listen for Feelings and Needs: Compassion, reflective listening, and guessing at feelings and needs are powerful tools for finding our share humanity and creating more understanding. The form is simple: Reflect back what you heard and guess at what the person is feeling and needing. Doing it well takes a lot of practice. Luckily, living in close proximity to other human beings isn’t easy and gives us lots of practice.

Let’s take a common situation. I said I’d bring home milk and I forgot. When I get home my partner is upset that I forgot the milk.

Partner: I can’t believe you forgot the milk. You said you’d bring it home. I can never count on you. Now what am I going to do for dinner? You know I needed it to make the sauce.

Me: I hear you’re really upset and frustrated. You’ve put effort and energy into dinner and you want that energy to mean something. You really want to know your needs are going to be met and right now you’re not sure they will be.

Partner: That’s right. My day’s been so hard. Everything I did with the kids took much longer than I expected. I’m late with dinner. And we didn’t even enjoy being together. Why am I staying at home with them anyway? You’ve got it lucky that you get to work with people who actually want to hear what you have to say.

Me: I hear you really want to be listened to and valued. Some days it’s hard for you to be home with the kids and today was one of them. Are you looking for relief, understanding, and support?

Partner: Yes! (and then you forgot the milk….)

This dialogue would likely go on for some time, especially if this way of listening is new to your partnership. Over time, you’ll each come to trust it more.

An important thing to remember is that I (and you when you’re in this situation) have choices again and again in this dialogue. Put yourself in ‘my’ place as you read the following ways I could choose to hear my partner’s words…

• How I hear: I can hear my partner’s words as personal criticism.
• How I react: Then I tend to attack or defend myself.

• How I hear:  I can hear my partner’s words an indication of a problem beyond my partner’s ability to solve.
• How I react: Then I tend to problem solve and offer solutions.

• How I hear:  I can hear my partner’s words as an indication that they are about to quit and go get a job and put the kids in school.
• How I react:  Then I tend to react with my own preferences and fears/agendas for how the home and childrearing happen.

• How I hear:  I can hear my partner’s words as proof that I’m not going to get the compassionate listening that I need. Maybe I had a hard day too? Maybe I get worried that my partner needs all the attention and I never get to show my own vulnerability.
• How I react:  In this case, I’ll tend to react with irritation, withholding my compassion and just wishing my partner wasn’t so needy.

Any of these reactions are unlikely to lead to the closeness and connection I really desire with my partner.

Listening from compassion works so much better. When I beam trust and love at my partner. When I sit with him as though he is beautiful, capable, and I love him. When I listen as though I’m hearing a story that has a great ending, then my energy totally shifts. I’m able to evoke that energy in myself (caring, loving, beautiful) and in my partner. The whole dynamic changes based on how I listen and how I offer my presence.

And remember – It’s really not about the milk.