You already know what you want to do. Somewhere in your being that knowledge exists. Many people will tell you to “Just stop thinking small and go for it!” If that sort of positive affirmation and self-talk is enough for you, great. You can stop reading now and go here to make a large donation to thank me for my wisdom. But if pulling yourself up by your bootstraps just doesn’t seem to be working like it ‘should’, read on.
You already know who you are. Deep in your being you know the truth of who you are, what you want, and what you want to do. Can you feel it?
Maybe. Maybe not because between your conscious waking activities and this deep knowing are many layers of conditioning. These are the habits, coping strategies, and ways of ‘getting through the day’.
Sometimes the voice of your deep longing comes out at 3am when you think you should be sleeping and you’re not. Sometimes it comes out during moments of lovemaking or gardening or playing with our children. Profound senses of rightness with flashes of how you want to spend your time. When you are in moments of joy, your taskmaster mind is less engaged and these inner promptings may feel safer to come forward.
Sometimes who you are does not seem like a safe thing to be. Pretty much never, actually. That’s true for me too and for everyone I’ve ever worked with. Waiting for the perfect moment for outside circumstances to tell us we are safe? Well…we’ll be waiting a long, long time.
We have to find ways to create more safety for ourselves and how to step into the discomfort and fear. If we wait for it to be safe and easy to be ourselves, we will never do it and we will keep blaming other people for why we can’t. Do any of these stories sound familiar?
- The kids are too young.
- My husband needs to be more supportive
- I need a partner
- Our finances are too tight.
- I have to do something right now to make money so I have to get a job for someone else so I can’t do the thing I want to do.
The list can go on and on. I’m going to teach you ways to work with these voices. Although these may seem like the voices you need to get rid of they are actually holding some of the power and insight you need to be successful. First let’s look at ways those voices are serving you.
There are many ways the things we want to get rid of are serving us in an unconscious way. How is it serving you to be small? How is it serving you to stress about money? What are you afraid would happen if you got big? What are you afraid you would do if you had plenty of money?
It doesn’t matter to me how they got there. That might be interesting and even important, but it’s not part of the work we’ll do together. I don’t want you to get rid of them or somehow push them aside. I want you to befriend them. I want you to get to know them. Jump in there with the doubt, fear, shame, self-protection that manifests exactly what it is afraid of.
“Anything worth doing is worth failing for” ~ Brene Brown – Shame and Vulnerability researcher and TED speaker
I want to help you learn another way besides numbing out or plowing forward. I want to help your heart open on a path to its own awakening. I want to walk with you on this journey, this hero’s journey, into your profound self. Along the way we’ll meet many aspects of you, many parts. Each part is a cohesive part of you and your story. Each part is playing an important role. I don’t want you to get rid of any part. Not even the inner critic that wants you to be perfect before you start.
“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” ~Joel Salatin – farmer extraordinaire and healer of the land at Polyface farms
It’s okay to start and fail and start again. It’s okay to start and realize you want to do something different. Start listening to and living your heart’s purpose. The world needs you to live as the full expression of yourself.
And so do you.
May the following words by Mary Oliver inspire you as they inspired me to find and walk my own path. It’s a journey I take over and over again…
The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognised as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Mary Oliver
Kassandra Brown in a Coach based in Boulder, Colorado