Join us for
Scarcity, Shame, Vulnerability and Joy
A 12 Week Adventure
Starting September 25 at 11 am Central
Do you ever feel like you’re not enough? Not able to do enough. Not thin enough. Not smart enough. Not strong enough. Not fast enough. Not sexy enough. Not liked enough. And just plain not good enough?
And so does every human being I know. Not all the time, but like a chronic illness, these beliefs flare up when we are tired, hungry, lonely, or dealing with something emotionally hard.
Perfectionism and scarcity are rampant in our culture. For women, we feel the pressure to be thin, nice and modest. Our culture says “real women” look great while we do everything that everyone wants us to do while not needing any recognition. What we more often feel like are exhausted multi-taskers trying to be everything to everyone and failing, comforting ourselves with food we later feel bad about eating and craving someone to tell us we’re good enough.
For men, perfectionism and scarcity look like a mandate to be in control, make money, and show no weakness. Our culture says “real men” put work first and that showing emotions is the same as being “weak” – a crime punishable by shaming, judgment, isolation, and/or physical abuse.
We live in a culture of scarcity. “Never enough” is all around us. Like a fish that can’t see the water it swims in, most of us are unaware that scarcity is not just “the way things are” but is a construct of our environment.
The good news? This means you have choice. It is possible and achievable to live a different way.
The bad news? Fighting to change something about your personal life when you are saturated in the culture of that belief can be exhausting, seemingly endless, and at best very slow going. Doing it together makes it so much easier and more successful.
I’ve found that the only way to effectively combat those beliefs is to befriend them. Invite them in. Invite in the Taskmaster that says “There is no time to rest. Do more!” Invite in the Inner Critic that says “That’s not good enough. No one wants you like that.”
Welcome them in, invite them to sit at the table and share your nourishment. These cold hungry ghosts have been lonely and outside your awareness for too long. Their hunger and need run your behavior but are never satisfied. No amount of cookies and ice cream, no amount of sex and love, no amount of praise and adulation, and no amount of money will fulfill them. They will keep asking for more. And they will keep saying “Not enough!”
To step into those voices is scary.
We fear to be overwhelmed. We fear to be lost in despair, depression, loneliness, and anxiety. We fear that those voices are speaking the truth. We fear that if we listen to them and stop evading them we will learn the truth that we are not enough. In direct confrontation, there will be nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. “Never enough”, we fear, will take over.
In reality, stepping into those voices is liberating. To wade into the shame and scarcity swamp, to learn how to be vulnerable in safer ways, and to befriend the exiles within you is to find the freedom of courage, self-confidence, and connection.
The amount of energy it takes to repress the fear of not being good enough is huge. Want more energy, creativity and joy? Look within your fear, anxiety, and shame.
Don’t know how? Come with us. We’re beginning an adventure.
- 12 Classes meet on Thursdays 11 am – 12:30 pm Central, September 25 until December 18 (skipping Thanksgiving)
- $200-$400 sliding scale.
- We’ll meet once a week. If you can’t make every call, don’t worry. They’ll be recorded. You can listen later.
- Partner homework every two weeks. Very possibly the best part of the class!
- Solo homework daily to create habits that change your life and perspective for good.
- Both in person and online offerings. Come to my home office at Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage or connect over the phone and internet from wherever you are
- Stay Tuned! Part 2 and Part 3 will start in January and in March 2015
Ready to sign up? I’m doing intake interviews with everyone before they commit to the class. During this interview, you get to talk with me, Kassandra, one-on-one to make sure this class is a good fit for you and figure out where you land on the sliding scale.